Car Advertisements for TV – Get Real !

This is how they should be filmed

When adverts appear on the TV now, I have to either change the channel or turn off the sound to go and do something far more interesting for the 5 minutes or so that they are on, like stand in a corner and stare at the wallpaper pattern.

However, I love cars, and therefore will occasionally watch the commercials for them. I should say did watch them really though. They are now so boring and devoid of anything interesting at all, that I’m drawn to wallpaper pattern again. Take, for example, BMWs latest offering for their Z4. Now this is a fairly good looking car, if you get the right combination of paint colour and wheels.

But their advert for it sucks beyond belief. Cue cheesy music, a Z4 and a white plastic-looking floor. As the car drives around the floor, it leaves behind lines of coloured paint. It drifts and slides around. After around 50 seconds of messing (messing, paint, get it? No, okay, onwards) about, the commercial ends with the words ‘Explore an expression of joy’.

Okay, I get it, it’s fun to drive, but Hello, real world calling. Does anyone have a large white pad I can test this BMW on? Oh, and throw in a few dozen gallons of various colours of paint as well while you’re at it please, as that’s what I drive on as part of my everyday route.

No, no, no! Lets see it in real environments, on real roads! Let’s see it cornering hard on a winding country road, or blasting down a beautiful coastal stretch of tarmac, the sea on one side, fabulous mountainous scenery on the other. That excites the senses. That would opens our eyes and imaginations.

Another BMW advert that truly needs an overhaul is the M3 advertisement. It’s slightly better than the awful Z4 advert, but it still has damn bad delivery and very surreal outer-worldliness.

It starts with the M3 on a road. The surroundings are dark and almost black and white with a non-noticeable background. Add some moody and semi-heavy Fast and Furious-esque music. A few seconds into the ad, you hear at least 2 or 3 seconds of engine noise. That’s it though, so don’t get your hopes up. It rounds an easy bend doing (from the look of it) a face-contorting and huge 50 mph, onto a flat bridge. As it crosses it, the road builds up behind the M3 into a suspension bridge type thingy. The BMW goes off into the distance, and the advert ends with the BMW logo and the words ‘Sheer. Driving. Pleasure.’.

Hmm. Sheer driving pleasure eh! Well, if that’s your idea of fun driving BMW, you’ll probably all have heart attacks when arranging the annual paint balling and quad biking ‘Team Building’ day out then. I’d stick to Chess instead, it’s much less taxing physically and also less ‘heavy’ on your eyes (black and white see).

To put it simply BMW, as you well know, the M3 is one of the most focussed cars in its class. Its chassis and engine is one of the best out there too. We need to see this car (almost) flying down the Autobahn, or being pushed to the limit on some twisting Alpine road.

I’m not picking on BMW here. I love how they push for perfect engineering and build quality. But, they do have the ability to get rid of those dull, drab and eyeball achingly boring commercials. More importantly though, they do have the money and man-power to get some really great adverts put out there for their cars.

It’s not just BMW sending out the dreadful ads, most car companies are doing the same. Land Rover, your Discovery adverts show about as much of its capabilities as a mum on a school run. Let’s see it wading through middle-of-door height water or grappling with the side of a muddy hill – not splashing through small puddles that a even Nissan Micra could navigate.

How about Citroen’s advert for their C3? I may be going down to my local Citroen dealership soon, to ask if I can test drive their C3 in the sea. Hopefully some stray Dolphins may thumb (or fin) a lift. This is normal behaviour for Dolphins according to their commercial.

Or Ford’s Focus musical instruments advert. ‘Performed on actual car parts’. Wow. Yes. How did Ford know that I’ve always wanted to strip a new car down and make strange looking instruments out the parts? Which, in actual fact, wouldn’t look out of place in that scene out of Star Wars where that band is playing in the bar on Mos Eisley.

What manufacturers need to realise is that we don’t need to see a car driving about on the moon, or driving at 10 mph on some boring and perfectly surfaced straight road, or some car parts made into classical music instruments (why?).

What we do need is to get a sense that the car is fun or exiting to drive, in real life. Or that it has soul, or character or both. These qualities can easily be portrayed in scenarios that involve proper roads and situations.

In fact, an easy way to do this would be to get Jay Leno and Jeremy Clarkson in to produce and direct the advertisement. Mass viewing and attention grabbing would be guaranteed.

Come on manufacturers, who’s going to be the first to do it?